Gadlaghak is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, benevolent grasshopper.

Gadlaghak created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gadlaghak, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gadlaghak, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gadlaghak's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Gadlaghak's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at stars.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Never feed tomatoes to porpoises while wearing violet tights.

4. Never talk about nematodes.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.