Yokladfad is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, selfish capybara.

Yokladfad created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yokladfad, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yokladfad, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yokladfad's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Yokladfad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Run away from gray moths, for they are unholy.

5. Never laugh in holy places.