Godlarnhig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, emotional bird.

Godlarnhig created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Godlarnhig, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Godlarnhig, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Godlarnhig's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Godlarnhig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.