Kiptunstan Bodbassfud is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, thoughtless frog.

Kiptunstan Bodbassfud created energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kiptunstan Bodbassfud, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kiptunstan Bodbassfud, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Kiptunstan Bodbassfud's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Kiptunstan Bodbassfud's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never wear black trousers.