Fonwitbus is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, conceited cow.

Fonwitbus created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fonwitbus, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fonwitbus, it will turn you into a dog.

Fonwitbus' most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Fonwitbus' Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always stare at clouds.