Sabbumzagzenbettin is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, benevolent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Sabbumzagzenbettin created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabbumzagzenbettin, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sabbumzagzenbettin, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Sabbumzagzenbettin's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Sabbumzagzenbettin's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck purple.

2. Never go into yellow rooms.

3. Hide from cyan capybaras for they are unholy.

4. Erect three lead sculptures of Sabbumzagzenbettin on top of important buildings.

5. Always treat great tits with great respect.