Wabsagrip is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, impressive gorilla.

Wabsagrip created a Higgs boson seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Wabsagrip, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wabsagrip, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Wabsagrip's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Wabsagrip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always help sick mites.

3. Do not hurt pigs.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always help ducks.