Pintargtencandobcar Zedtaphan is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, merciless guinea pig.

Pintargtencandobcar Zedtaphan created the solar system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pintargtencandobcar Zedtaphan, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pintargtencandobcar Zedtaphan, she will curse you with boils.

Pintargtencandobcar Zedtaphan's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Pintargtencandobcar Zedtaphan's Holy Commandments

1. Pintargtencandobcar Zedtaphan must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. You must love Pintargtencandobcar Zedtaphan.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.