Tiffarnwig is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, effective tapir.

Tiffarnwig created the planet Saturn two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiffarnwig, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tiffarnwig, she will not care.

Tiffarnwig's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Tiffarnwig's Holy Commandments

1. Tiffarnwig must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not eat parsnips.

5. Run away if three goats approach from the west.