Ponhoncud is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, blissful owl.

Ponhoncud created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ponhoncud, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ponhoncud, he will turn you into a rat.

Ponhoncud's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Ponhoncud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill grasshopers.

2. Ponhoncud must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not hurt frogs.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think about galaxies.