Ripbassflat is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, strong gorilla.

Ripbassflat created the Andromeda Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ripbassflat, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Ripbassflat, he will not care at all.

Ripbassflat's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Ripbassflat's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray jumpers.

2. Never mention badgers.

3. Worship no other gods but Ripbassflat.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always treat eagles with great respect.