Vonwikdon is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, merciful tapir.

Vonwikdon created the world nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonwikdon, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vonwikdon, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Vonwikdon's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Vonwikdon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horses.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Always help mites.