Hunquamtif is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, tranquil skunk.

Hunquamtif created energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hunquamtif, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hunquamtif, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hunquamtif's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Hunquamtif's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Do not wear blue clothing.

3. Retreat if seven moths approach from the south.

4. Never go into pink rooms.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.