Doglakkabbus is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, humane yak.

Doglakkabbus created carbon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Doglakkabbus, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Doglakkabbus, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Doglakkabbus' most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Doglakkabbus' Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Doglakkabbus' priests.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Doglakkabbus on top of all buildings.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not hurt seals.

5. Never talk about sheep.