Tarplopstippop is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, egotistical unicorn.

Tarplopstippop created energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarplopstippop, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tarplopstippop, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tarplopstippop's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Tarplopstippop's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near swans.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tarplopstippop.

5. Never play with disobedient children.