Likquartrill is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, impressive cow.

Likquartrill created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Likquartrill, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Likquartrill, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Likquartrill's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Likquartrill's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Always help foxes.