Jonsatlarpfit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, conceited dragonfly.

Jonsatlarpfit created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonsatlarpfit, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jonsatlarpfit, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Jonsatlarpfit's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Jonsatlarpfit's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat parsnips.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always wear green.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Hide from magenta bats for they are unholy.