Hogyatgan is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, slow pig.

Hogyatgan created tapeworms two years ago.

If you believe in Hogyatgan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hogyatgan, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Hogyatgan's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Hogyatgan's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always look after injured turtles.

4. Never hurt birds.

5. Never eat green fruit.