Hongilgepnelljab is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, witty faun.

Hongilgepnelljab created light four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hongilgepnelljab, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hongilgepnelljab, he will turn you into a plant.

Hongilgepnelljab's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Hongilgepnelljab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick grasshopers.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hongilgepnelljab.