Tettiarmbed is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, vain centaur.

Tettiarmbed created humanity six million years ago.

If you believe in Tettiarmbed, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tettiarmbed, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tettiarmbed's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Tettiarmbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Feed all hungry ducks.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Never think ill of sick horses.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.