Nutmiljapdag is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, dishonest lion.

Nutmiljapdag created water two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nutmiljapdag, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nutmiljapdag, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Nutmiljapdag's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Nutmiljapdag's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nutmiljapdag.

2. You must pray to Nutmiljapdag four times a day.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not make images of living things.