Vagtonkmin is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, omniscient squirrel.

Vagtonkmin created the universe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vagtonkmin, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vagtonkmin, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vagtonkmin's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Vagtonkmin's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat melons.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never wear yellow coats.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.