Mifqueeghitlig is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, duplicitous aardvark.

Mifqueeghitlig created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mifqueeghitlig, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Mifqueeghitlig, he will cry a lot.

Mifqueeghitlig's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Mifqueeghitlig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Mifqueeghitlig's name in vain.

2. Mifqueeghitlig loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Erect a large gold sculpture of Mifqueeghitlig on top of all buildings.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.