Sithatarmwap Ditnarnurbat is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, moody troll.

Sithatarmwap Ditnarnurbat created a bottom quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Sithatarmwap Ditnarnurbat, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Sithatarmwap Ditnarnurbat, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Sithatarmwap Ditnarnurbat's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Sithatarmwap Ditnarnurbat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

5. You must pray to Sithatarmwap Ditnarnurbat eight times a day.