Farnbonfonwabkadyatpin is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, blissful octopus.

Farnbonfonwabkadyatpin created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnbonfonwabkadyatpin, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Farnbonfonwabkadyatpin, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Farnbonfonwabkadyatpin's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Farnbonfonwabkadyatpin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Always obey Farnbonfonwabkadyatpin's priests.

3. Always treat turtles with great respect.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.