Bessarncitwik is a god.

She takes the form of a large, cheerful dryad.

Bessarncitwik created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessarncitwik, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bessarncitwik, she will send you a sign.

Bessarncitwik's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Bessarncitwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bessarncitwik.

5. Always pray immersed in water.