Dabtunfom is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, happy cow.

Dabtunfom created a Higgs boson five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabtunfom, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dabtunfom, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dabtunfom's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Dabtunfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black corsets.

2. Do not eat bananas.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Retreat if three swans approach from the north.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.