Vogvedpag is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, able pig.

Vogvedpag created carbon five million years ago.

If you believe in Vogvedpag, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vogvedpag, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Vogvedpag's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Vogvedpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Vogvedpag on top of all buildings.

5. Vogvedpag loves whales, so they must be honoured.