Lenlamrig is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, conceited clam.

Lenlamrig created an electron seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Lenlamrig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lenlamrig, he will turn you into a goat.

Lenlamrig's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Lenlamrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat garlic.

2. Lenlamrig loves bats, so they must be respected.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.