Vagqueegvad is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, dishonest jaguar.

Vagqueegvad created a top quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vagqueegvad, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vagqueegvad, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Vagqueegvad's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Vagqueegvad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never think ill of sick sharks.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always look after injured badgers.