Pidwatman is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, happy crocodile.

Pidwatman created time and space five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pidwatman, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pidwatman, he will be mildly annoyed.

Pidwatman's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Pidwatman's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Pidwatman three times a day.

2. Always wear turquoise.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Do not speak about bananas.