Quamarmbun is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, passionate wombat.

Quamarmbun created humankind seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quamarmbun, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quamarmbun, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Quamarmbun's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Quamarmbun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not speak about peanuts.