Farnrulparkkem is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, passionate squirrel.

Farnrulparkkem created an electron seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnrulparkkem, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Farnrulparkkem, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Farnrulparkkem's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Farnrulparkkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never play with disobedient children.