Fashadnig is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, narcissistic clam.

Fashadnig created the world six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fashadnig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fashadnig, it will turn you into a goat.

Fashadnig's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Fashadnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to geese while wearing indigo scarves.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Fashadnig.

3. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fashadnig.