Bemxucyarl Rancemvad Cumtimnull is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, intelligent alligator.

Bemxucyarl Rancemvad Cumtimnull created matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemxucyarl Rancemvad Cumtimnull, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bemxucyarl Rancemvad Cumtimnull, he will ignore you.

Bemxucyarl Rancemvad Cumtimnull's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Bemxucyarl Rancemvad Cumtimnull's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not wear mauve clothing.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Pray towards the south.