Sterquimquim is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, duplicitous camel.

Sterquimquim created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sterquimquim, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sterquimquim, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Sterquimquim's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Sterquimquim's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always treat swans with great respect.

4. You must pray to Sterquimquim three times a day.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.