Bumcitnullfig is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, thoughtless troll.

Bumcitnullfig created everything that exists nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumcitnullfig, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bumcitnullfig, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bumcitnullfig's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Bumcitnullfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of frogs.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never talk about ducks.