Tifkanlan is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, benevolent bear.

Tifkanlan created oxygen six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifkanlan, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tifkanlan, she will destroy your home solar system.

Tifkanlan's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Tifkanlan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.