Spagquamleg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, all-knowing warg.

Spagquamleg created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagquamleg, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Spagquamleg, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Spagquamleg's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Spagquamleg's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near dolphins.

2. Worship no other gods but Spagquamleg.

3. You must love Spagquamleg.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Hide if six squirrels approach from the north.