Disszogpagfumparkflampitcen is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, weak slug.

Disszogpagfumparkflampitcen created the Cigar Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Disszogpagfumparkflampitcen, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Disszogpagfumparkflampitcen, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Disszogpagfumparkflampitcen's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Disszogpagfumparkflampitcen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.