Rapwegtun is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unsympathetic jellyfish.

Rapwegtun created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Rapwegtun, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Rapwegtun, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Rapwegtun's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Rapwegtun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Feed all hungry seals.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always help sick whales.