Citwipstig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, uncaring scorpion.

Citwipstig created the planet Venus three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Citwipstig, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Citwipstig, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Citwipstig's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Citwipstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not hurt aardvarks.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never eat gooseberries.

5. Citwipstig loves monkeys, so they must be respected.