Hivtikbap Bumxuckgeb Fongubgab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, awesome jaguar.

Hivtikbap Bumxuckgeb Fongubgab created Asia six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hivtikbap Bumxuckgeb Fongubgab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hivtikbap Bumxuckgeb Fongubgab, he will refuse to believe in you.

Hivtikbap Bumxuckgeb Fongubgab's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Hivtikbap Bumxuckgeb Fongubgab's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Hivtikbap Bumxuckgeb Fongubgab.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Hivtikbap Bumxuckgeb Fongubgab.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Pray towards the east.