Hitlegbep is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, witless zebra.

Hitlegbep created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitlegbep, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hitlegbep, he will turn you into a plant.

Hitlegbep's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Hitlegbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never wear violet rings.

3. Run away if nine goats approach from the west.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never feed lentils to manatees while wearing mauve shirts.