Vabgunshav is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, ill-tempered bird.

Vabgunshav created a bottom quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vabgunshav, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vabgunshav, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vabgunshav's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Vabgunshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about rice.

2. Always help sick nematodes.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never go into pink rooms.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.