Kapgengattikbarnlakyatt is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, humorless chinchilla.

Kapgengattikbarnlakyatt created Europe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kapgengattikbarnlakyatt, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kapgengattikbarnlakyatt, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kapgengattikbarnlakyatt's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Kapgengattikbarnlakyatt's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Kapgengattikbarnlakyatt nine times a day.

2. Hide from fawn otters for they are unholy.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Kapgengattikbarnlakyatt loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.