Yarmabhub is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, deceitful finch.

Yarmabhub created time and space eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarmabhub, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yarmabhub, it will try to impress you with trees.

Yarmabhub's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Yarmabhub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not wear platinum on your body.

3. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.