Fidsomveen is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, kind whale.

Fidsomveen created the Black Eye Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidsomveen, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fidsomveen, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Fidsomveen's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Fidsomveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Retreat if four monkeys approach from the north.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not drink alcohol.