Mitbastnillpit Armmetstig is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, competent grasshopper.

Mitbastnillpit Armmetstig created light six million years ago.

If you believe in Mitbastnillpit Armmetstig, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Mitbastnillpit Armmetstig, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Mitbastnillpit Armmetstig's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Mitbastnillpit Armmetstig's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Mitbastnillpit Armmetstig.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not take Mitbastnillpit Armmetstig's name in vain.

4. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.