Tadtenmin is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, omnipotent gnu.

Tadtenmin created tapeworms five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadtenmin, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tadtenmin, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tadtenmin's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Tadtenmin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

2. Always help birds.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never wear brown shorts.